Cooking Is Alchemy: Not Paradise, Shrimp-Kale-Basmati Palooza, and Happy Everything

Dear Paradise Bakery Cashier, I want my $9.77 back because I had to listen to you shriek in a voice that sounded eerily like Pee-Wee Herman, "WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK? THAT WILL BE WHATEVER DOLLARS" at every customer. Yes, it was in Surprise or Sun City or Miracle Ear, Arizona, but Jesus H. Christ, I should not be able to hear every word you squawk through a 2,500 square foot restaurant. I intentionally was speaking to you as softly and as lowly as I could in hopes you would mirror. Um, no. So then I sat as far away from you as possible. 75% of those people could hear you just fine. Modulate. Thank you, Jules

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. So fricking annoying.

*****

It's Monday. You know what that means. Time to renew our "Not Eat Like a Garbage Can" plan for another couple of days before we all say to hell with it and start over again next week. ((Just kidding. I totally don't do that. Never have, never will. I don't think anyone is believing me.))

Let's do something that will make your trainer proud that I am struggling to come up with a name for so let's just call it Shrimp-Kale-Basmati Rice-a-polooza. ((Seriously, I've got nothing better.)) This is another one of those concoctions that is good for "using stuff up" before you have to throw it out. Easy, breezy.

What you need for two:

12 or so small/medium *cooked* shrimp ((I still have a bag of frozen cooked shrimp that I think is regenerating itself because it never seems to end))
Red pepper flakes
A couple of tablespoons of soy sauce
1 clove of minced garlic
2-4 green onions
A bunch of kale
1 cup of mushrooms
A handful or two of green beans
1/2 cup of uncooked basmati rice
1 tablespoon EVOO

Blast Off:

Start by preparing the basmati according to the package directions. I prefer to add the rice, EVOO ((that's olive oil if you aren't paying attention)), and water all at once, bring it to a boil, and then let it simmer, covered, for 12-15 minutes. Stir it occasionally to make sure it isn't sticking to the bottom. It's done when the water is absorbed and it looks nice and fluffy.

Marinate the shrimp for a few minutes. I just throw it in a bowl with a little bit of soy sauce while I'm chopping stuff up.

Clean the veggies while the water/rice is coming to a boil. Take the middle stems out of the kale, slice up the mushrooms, and de-string the green beans if needed. All that means is to snap off the ends where there are string-y things. You will have no clue what the hell I'm talking about if you just use stuff from a can which I highly discourage you from doing because those are disgusting. This is why most people think they hate vegetables.

Start by either spraying your sautee pan with cooking spray or throwing in a little bit of olive oil. Use a medium to medium-high heat. Add the chopped green onions ((the lower white parts)) and the garlic. Let that sizzle around for about 3 minutes. Add a splash of chicken broth or water and add the green beans. Cover and let them steam for about 3 minutes. Add in the kale and the mushrooms, give it a stir, and maybe another splash of broth if it seems like it is all gone and recover and let steam for another 2 minutes or so. Finally, add in the shrimp and a dash of red pepper flakes. Stir it all around until the shrimp are hot. ((These are pre-cooked so they just have to be warmed up.))

Serve the shrimp-kale-mushrooms-beans over the basmati. I actually ((as pictured)) separated out the beans and mixed everything else together. I then topped it with some of the upper parts of the green onion.