Cheesy Mexican Hash Brown Potatoes, "I Have a Cooking Blog?!" and a List of Excuses

WAIT.  I have a cooking blog?!  Who updates it when I flake out for a couple of weeks?  Oh.  No one?  OOPS.  Ready for a list of excuses that will be interesting to exactly no one?  That's what I thought.

1.  It's hot.  It's like 108-112 degrees hot.  It is damn near impossible to confront a hot grill, an oven, or even to boil water when it is that hot.  It also kills your appetite.  I assumed ((rightly, I believe)) that no one was interested in a recipe for Cheerios from the box.  Or a store-bought popsicle.  If you are, well, you have other issues that I don't feel capable of addressing at this time.  Maybe later though.

2.  I broke up with the co-op which apparently provided a lot of my inspiration.  The suppliers had a rough early summer... quantities went way down, the quality went down, and it was no longer the massive savings that it typically is.  The other thing is that the people there had gotten too familiar with me.  What used to be a less than 5 minute in and out/pick up the shit and go turned into 20-30 minutes because of all the chatting and asking for advice.  I realize this is actually a compliment, but I just don't want to be that chatty at 7 am on a Saturday.  When I relocate next week, I will pretend not to speak English.

3.  Negative comments.  I understand that the Internet is a place where people can hide behind anonymity and I know that ((like everyone else who publishes shit on the internet)) people will sometimes be horrible to me.  I purposefully moderate the comments so that a bunch of negativity doesn't get spewed by ugly people who seriously need a hobby.  Well, two negative comments got under my skin last weekend and I went on strike.  If you don't like the way I swear, what I make, the randomness of any of it, just don't read it.  I'm really not that interesting anyway.

4.  Did I mention it is hot?

*****

That said, let's make something.  In typical style, I set out to make one thing and ended up with something completely different.  The plan was to make breakfast burritos with Italian sausage, but it turned out my eggs were closer to being chicks than eggs, the milk was expired, and defrosting the sausage at that point seemed like a waste of time.  ((Must go to Trader Joe's.  Stat.))  Instead I ended up with cheesy Mexican hash brown potatoes.

What you need:

16 ounces of hash brown potatoes ((I prefer the refrigerated kind, not the frozen ones.))
1 tablespoon of butter
1/2 cup Mexican style shredded cheese
1/2 cup salsa
1 tablespoon chopped jalapeno pepper
Salt and pepper

What to do:

Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium to high heat.  Add the potatoes in a thin layer and smash them down with a spatula.  ((The instructions call for vegetable oil to "fry" them in, but that's just gross.))  Let them cook for 6-7 minutes, or until they get golden brown and crispy on the bottom side.  Oh and leave them alone!  Don't be stirring them all around or anything.  Let it be.  Put a few cracks of salt and pepper on top.

Flip the potatoes over ((if it breaks up, that's totally fine)) and cook for another 5-6 minutes.  Again, add a little salt and pepper.

Smash them up a little and add the salsa and the jalapeno.  Stir it around and add the cheese.  Let cook just until the cheese is melty and gooey.

This can be eaten as a side dish or on a tortilla.  ((The original plan was to mix this with scrambled eggs  and browned sausage...  I'm sure that would be even better.))

*****


I'll be back some time with something!  ((Just kidding.))  I *believe* we are doing a photography shoot next weekend so there will be much to look forward to.

Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Oaxaca Mole Verde, Measurements are Dumb, and Please Come Back

I, semi-last-minute, decided to make dinner for my mother and her friend, Kathy, last evening.  I had been given this totally gorgeous cookbook by Kathy's daughter ((one of my favoritest people)) and was itching to try something from it.  I decided on a pork tenderloin with a mole verde sauce.  ((Little did I know, pork tenderloin is one of Kathy's very favorite things, so look at me, I'm a winner.))

I'm going to warn you, the ingredient list and the instructions look long, but it comes together relatively quickly and is completely worth it.  As you are reading this, you will probably say, "Oh screw her.  This is ridiculous."  I swear to you, I left for the store at 3 pm to get the missing ingredients in within one hour I had made the rub, the sauce to completion, and 2 dozen green chile muffins, Mexican rice, and loaded up everything I needed to take this show on the road.

Original recipe from "Sharing the Table at Garland's Lodge"

What you need generally:

4 pork tenderloins

For the rub:

2 tablespoons each oregano, sage, thyme, cumin seed, and ground red chile
1 tablespoon each cinnamon and nutmeg
1/4 cup of salt ((I used a lot less))
2 tablespoons coarse black pepper

For the mole verde:

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium white or yellow onion, roughly chopped
3 garlic cloves, peeled
1 pound tomatillos, peeled, rinsed and sliced
1/4 cup chopped hot green chiles ((not the canned crap-- I used less and deseeded them for wimpier palates))
1 1/2 teaspoons of salt
2 teaspoons each oregano and cumin seeds
1/2 cup raw pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup loosely packed chopped cilantro ((so like half a bunch with some of the stems left on))
2 - 2 1/2 cups of chicken stock
2 tablespoons of lime juice

Are you still with me?  I know.  It seems like a lot, but the vast majority of this stuff is in your spice rack or pantry.  If you don't have something and aren't going to the market, leave it out.  It's fine.

Start by making the rub.  Combine everything BUT the salt and pepper in a small skillet and heat until it smells like heaven.  ((This won't take long, just a couple of minutes on a medium heat.))  Remove from the heat and let it cool a little.  Put into a small baggie and add the salt and pepper and shake it around.  ((I confess, I didn't measure anything, I totally eye-balled it.  Feel free to do the same.))

Preheat the oven to 350, after putting the rack on the highest shelf you can, but still being able to get the pan in.  Drizzle the pork with a little olive oil and then spread the rub over it.  Give it a good pat to make it stick and get all the sides.  Set aside for 30 minutes.  ((I know.  I was a little concerned about leaving pork to sit out.  It's fine.  You won't die.))

Next, we will make the mole.  Heat the olive oil in a heavy sauce pan over medium high.  Add in the onions, garlic ((I didn't chop the garlic cloves, I put them in whole)), tomatillos, and salt.  Give them a stir and then reduce the heat to medium.  Add in the chiles.  Loosely cover the pan ((like make it so that it is half off)) and cook for 10 minutes or until everything is soft.  Stir it every so often to make sure nothing is sticking.

Combine the pumpkin seeds and the oregano and toast in a small skillet until they begin to smoke.  ((Technically, you should grind them with either a grinder or a food processor after this, but I didn't, so don't worry about it.))

Add the pumpkin seed mix, the cilantro, and 2 cups of chicken broth to the pan with the onions/tomatillos.  Stir it well and let cook for just a couple of minutes.

Transfer the sauce ((it's hot in case this isn't obvious!)) to a blender and process until it is very smooth.  You may need to do this in more than one batch depending on the size of your blender.

Return the mixture to the sauce pan.  If it is really thick, add a little more broth.  Add two tablespoons of lime juice and some more salt.  Keep warm while the pork cooks.

**These are their instructions... This did not work for me.... Roast the meat for 8 minutes, reduce the oven temp to 300 and continue another 8-10 minutes.  A meat thermometer should read 140 at the center.  ((I followed these instructions and knew there was no way in hell they were done.  I turned the heat back up to 350 and let them cook for an additional 20 minutes.  I thought maybe I had somehow missed the part where you slice them first, but no.  No idea.))

When cooked through to 140 degrees or just barely pink, remove from the oven and cover with a clean dish towel for ten minutes to rest.

Slice them diagonally at about 1/3 of an inch thick.  Serve with 1/3 cup of the sauce ((which you have kept warm)) over the top.  ((I put it on the side because I was concerned it would still be too spicy for them even though I had mellowed it out some.))

Not the greatest picture because of the lighting, but I was trying not to be "that person" who keeps everyone waiting while they take pictures of food.  

I repeat, this sounds way harder than it is, but whoever you are making it for will think you are a superhero.  I served it along side ((as alluded to)) Mexican rice, black beans with cojita cheese, green chile corn muffins with honey butter, and the now famous, sopapilla cheesecake.

The verde sauce will keep if kept tightly covered in the refrigerator and would be good on basically everything.

*****

All right, this might win the award for the longest post ever.  I'll be back with something a little less daunting ((or at least wordy)) tomorrow!

Turkey Po-Tacos, Turkey Tac-atoes, or Oh Lord Someone Else Name Something for Me

So about a thousand years ago, I came up with the idea to put taco meat and toppings on a baked potato  ((this certainly is not an original idea, I am well aware)) and we spent an unreasonable amount of time debating what they should be called with a fervor which should really be reserved for matters of national security.  I was adamantly lobbying for po-tacos.  <<Redacted>> was just as strongly committed to tac-atoes which he later modified to tac-aters.  Ridiculous argument that always lasted way after the meal was gone aside, but has remained memorable for at least seven or so years, these are quite good and good for you.

Not the most photogenic

What you need for 2:

2 large baking potatoes
1/2 lb of ground turkey burger
1 packet of taco seasoning
1/2 c of shredded Mexican cheese
Shredded lettuce
1/2 c of salsa
2 dollops of sour cream

Go:

Start by scrubbing the potatoes and then stabbing them with a fork a few times.  Set aside.

Brown the ground turkey until all of the pink is gone.  Add the taco seasoning packet and the water as directed on the packet.  RIGHT NOW, put the potatoes in the microwave and hit the "potato" button.  If you don't have a "potato" button, well, you are on your own.  Good luck.  Once the turkey and sauce come to a fast simmer, reduce the heat to low, cover, and let simmer until the potatoes are done.

When the potatoes are finished, remove them to a plate, slice them open, and smash them a little.  Top with the lettuce, turkey, Mexican cheese, salsa, and a little sour cream.

Potacos

Nutritional Info:   If you are using a large potato and go easy on the cheese and sour cream, let's call it 350 calories and 6 grams of fat.

*****

Let's see.... What else?  Submitted updated menus to a bed and breakfast this morning...  Working on another writing project...  Inhaling the LaPorte eBook like it is the air I breathe...  Worked a little bit on some blog redesign around here...  I *almost* know what I'm doing at this point!  Not really...  But now if you want to share a post on FB, Twitter, or Google Plus ((cuz EVERYONE uses GPlus)), there should be buttons below each post to do so.  I appreciate it when you do!  You even get a gold star in my Book of People That Don't Suck.

Panasonic Stainless Steel Countertop Microwave Oven - NNSD797S
GE Profile Spacemaker II Stainless Steel Microwave Oven - PEM31SMSS
Cuisinart Stainless Steel Countertop Microwave - CMW-100

Shrimp Salsa for Cinco de Mayo

I've made the executive decision that this week is going to be a Mexican food fest in honor of Cinco de Mayo.  Cinco de Mayo is, well, the 5th of May in case that isn't obvious to you.  I'm not judging.  I'm blonde.  I couldn't figure out how to double 2/3 of a cup the other day.  Anyway, I'm going to be giving you some mainly healthier alternatives, but you know damn well at some point there is going to be some cheese-laden something or other pile of goodness...  All things in moderation.

Let's begin at the beginning.  Salsa.  Well, that sounds kind of boring.  How about shrimp salsa?  The idea for this came via Pinterest, but I modified it so that it is basically my pico de gallo with shrimp added in.

Salsa con Camarones

What you need:
1 lb of cooked large shrimp, de-veined and de-tailed
5 roma tomatoes
1/2 red onion
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 jalapeno pepper
1 handful of cilantro
1 lime
Sea salt

What to do:

Start by dicing the shrimp as finely as you can.  Double check that  all of the tails are completely removed and there aren't any mystery shell remnants hanging around.

Move on to the tomatoes and de-seed them. ((Seeds in tomatoes are typically kind of bitter... it will taste better if you get them out.))  You can do this quite efficiently by cutting the tomato into quarters, and then just scraping out the seeds.  If you miss some, you miss some.  Not the end of the world.  Chop the tomato quite finely.

Chop your onion, mince the garlic, and cut up the jalapeno.  Jalapenos in and of themselves are not that hot.  It is the seeds that hold the heat.  Depending on who I'm making it for, I leave varying amounts of seeds in.  ((Arizona natives can take it and will say the hotter the better.  Upper midwest transplants tend to be pretty wimpy and can't seem to handle it.))  Chop up the cilantro, give the lime a good squeeze, and crack some salt over the top.

Stir it all together and place in an airtight container in the refrigerator.  Keep in mind that at this point, none of the flavors have had a chance to mingle so this is not really what your finished product is going to taste like.  After it has had at least a couple of hours in the refrigerator, but preferably overnight, stir it again and sample.  At this point you can add more of whatever you may think it needs.  I generally tend to add another squeeze of lime and some more salt.  Or maybe I'm thinking of tequila...

This will serve somewhere between 8-10 people.  If you are going to have it at a potluck or a cookout, be very aware that seafood is not so happy when it sits outside or even inside for very long.  I would recommend at the very least, putting it on ice and just throw the damn stuff out after a couple of hours.  I don't want any of y'all to get food poisoning, blame me, and tell everyone how I tried to kill you.

Nutritional Info:  Basically free!  This is very low cal and has no fat.  Enjoy with reckless abandon.

*****

Other Mexican goodies can be found under the label of "Mexican" which you should be able to search on the side bar.

Shrimp Avocado Summer Tacos, Movus Interruptus, and Stages

Holy hell, what a weekend.  I am in need of a Stage 4 nap.  I don't exactly know what the stages of napping are, but I want the best one.

The moving project was a huge case of hurry up and wait.  When I arrived, I told Deb we were busting ass for one hour and that if either of us were not in motion, there was going to be a penalty.  We FLEW through packing up basically everything that was left in record time when ((ominous sound of doom here)) the movers announced they had been called to assist with a broken-down truck.  It was rescheduled for Saturday and because of their late arrival, continues on today with unloading.

Saturday was then spent cooking for two different parties...  Both went really well and there may or may not still be dishes in the car.  I should really do something about that.  So far today I have spent three hours in what I can only presume is a reinvention of the wheel ((oh well)), planning the menu for the event I'm cooking for on Thursday, and shattering the toenail on my big toe and being about .287 seconds from passing out as a result.  Ow.

Since I'm limping around feeling sorry for my toe, I just wanted to throw something together for lunch that was super easy.  I ended up with Shrimp Avocado Summer Tacos.

I just added the word "Summer" to the title for no apparent reason.

What you need for two servings:

2 multi-grain tortillas ((I'm back on the Carb Balance ones by Mission))
Handful of small-medium *cooked* shrimp  ((I used them cold))
Romaine, about a cup or so
Shredded jack cheese, maybe 4 tablespoons
One avocado
Salsa, maybe a tablespoon or two
Cilantro ((I was out.  Sad.))
Lime to squeeze on top

This really doesn't need instructions, does it?  I didn't think so.

The only tip I have to offer is in regard to avocados...  Once you slice it in half around the core/seed/what the hell do you call that?! PIT, God, then you can pull it apart.  At that point draw a tic-tac-toe board in it with your knife, being careful not to pierce the flesh.  You can then invert it ((flip it inside out)) and scrape out the avocado in cute little squares.

To keep the avocado so it won't go brown, squeeze lime juice over it and seal it in a bag with as close to zero air in it as possible.  Leaving the pit in it will help as well, because that reduces the surface area exposed to oxygen.

I had this with a side of canary melon.  Take that, clean living!

Nutritional Info:  SAINT.  Approximately 220 calories and 3 grams of fat per taco if you are being responsible and go super easy on the cheese.   Avocado actually is pretty high in calories but it is high in healthy fats so we call that a wash.

I'm off to determine what stage of napping can be accomplished with a throbbing toe...

Tomatillo Salsa, Upside Down Verde Tacos, and Go Fail at Something

Did you know I contribute to a fitness website?  Neither did I, but apparently, I do!  ((I'll link to it once I manuever myself into a position where I can add more content to the site.))  I found out about it, oddly enough, when I got asked if I could "clean up" some of the recipes, add a "healthy living" tab, or at least offer healthier substitution suggestions so that her readers don't get led astray.

Luckily, I was one step ahead.  It's now officially Spring, whether it feels like it or not where you are, that means it is time to quit eating our feelings and suck it up, Buttercup.  Given the pepperpalooza from Sunday, I thought tomatillo salsa would be a good addition.

Tomatillos are basically kind of like little green tomatoes that come in a husk.  Don't be scared.

Here's what you need:

12 tomatillos, shucked ((I have no idea if it is called "shucking" them like corn, but as previously noted, it's my blog and I'll write what I want to))
1/2 medium onion, chopped into big chunks
3 green onions, the white part ((save the green parts))
3 cloves of garlic, peeled, but whole
1 jalapeno, somewhat deseeded to reduce heat, and split in 4
1 handful of cilantro
1 lime for juice
Sea salt

Get after it:

Heat a large skillet over high heat.  You want it good and hot.  Spray it with cooking spray ((you could use a little bit of oil, but we have turned over a new leaf)) and throw in the tomatillos, onion, green onions, garlic, and jalapeno.  We are not trying to "cook" them, but we want to get the onions softened up, some black gunk on the sides of everything, and to bring out the flavors.  See?

About halfway there

Pull it off the stove and let it cool off for a while or until you get too impatient.  Pull out a few of the onions and set them aside.  Put the rest into a food processor ((I have a Ninja that I love because I like saying "Ninja")) or a blender.  Add in the cilantro and give it a few pulses to get everything pretty finely diced.  Pour it out into a glass dish, add several cracks of sea salt and squeeze a lime into it.  Stir it around, stick your finger in it, and sample.  If it needs more *something,* add some more *something.*  ((I usually find that a little more salt or another lime is the trick.))  It's not going to be the most beautiful looking thing you ever made, but here it is:

Very Verde

You can use it for chips, on tacos, on a salad, or whatever!   This probably makes about 24 servings, but I really am not sure.

Nutritional Info:  FREE!  This has under 10 calories and no fat in about 4 tablespoons.

This didn't come from any particular recipe other than the pile of nonsense in my own head.

*****

I decided to take this and some of the peppers from the other day and make something up for lunch.  I honestly had no clue what I was even setting out to make when I started and it turned into what shall now be known as Upside Down Verde Tacos because I can't come up with anything better for a name.

What you need (for two servings):

4 corn tortillas (although flour would totally work; I used the really small corn ones)
16 small, cooked shrimp
8 tablespoons sweet peppers, chopped
8 tablespooons *cooked* onion, chopped  ((I warned you to save this from the tomatillo salsa making process!))
Cilantro
Green onion tops
1/4 cup of Mexican shredded cheese
Dollop of sour cream

What I did that I'm not sure you should necessarily repeat although this was really yummy:

Preheat the oven to 350.  In a small glass baking dish, after spraying it with cooking spray, put 4 corn tortillas in, attempting to get them to stand up somewhat.  Add in about two tablespoons EACH of both the cooked onion and the sweet peppers.  Add a little bit of cheese and your fancy, new green salsa.  Put the shrimp on top and roll them into thirds as best you can.  Flip them around and put the seam side down.  ((They will probably not be cooperating the best, but things don't always have to be perfect.  Relax.))  Over the former bottom which is now the top, drizzle a little bit more of your salsa and another sprinkle of the cheese.

Bake, uncovered for about 15-20 minutes.  ((Because I used cooked shrimp, I was just trying to get the cheese melted and everything heated through.))

Remove to a plate and garnish with cilantro, the chopped green onion tops, a squeeze of lime, and maybe a dollop of sour cream.

I just put some of the sweet peppers on the side as a little salad...  You could do a side of pinto or black or refried beans, corn on the cob, Mexican rice, or a regular lettuce salad for the side.

 
There you have it!  Nutritional Info:  For two tacos, about 350 calories, BUT 260 of that is from the corn tortillas, so if you replace them with flour tortillas or the low-carb multigrain onces, you can shave off 120 calories.   I also went very easy with the cheese and didn't add sour cream.

*****

Yesterday, a friend who I hadn't seem in quite some time came up and said, "I would totally pay you to teach me to make some things.  I can barely boil water and I love your food.  Do you do that?"  Ummmmmmm, I do now!  I couldn't think of much that would be more enjoyable than to have a friend over for two hours, she brings the ingredients from a list I give her and a bottle of wine, and I show her how to make it!  We'll then take pictures for this corner of the internet, and I make a few bucks!  I can't believe people will pay me money just to have fun.  It's crazy.

In other news, our application is in and it looks totally, completely, and utterly amazing amazing amazing.  We worked really hard on it and it shows.  As I have said, even if nothing comes of it, we tried, we had a blast doing it, and it is super fun to dream about it.  So many people are afraid to try things and afraid to "fail."  EFF THAT.  If you haven't tried, you have failed.

With that, go do something that scares you.  I am.   Basically constantly.

1,000 Treats, Five Alarms, and The Threat of Salsa

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Today has been INSANE!  As I mentioned yesterday, last night I was cooking for a party for about 15.  Everything went really well with the food, but during the course of the evening, one woman mentioned that an organization she is affiliated with was doing gift bags for about 100 people on Monday and did I want to donate my organic dog treats and could I do it in about 18 hours?  Well, of course, I do!  I rallied the troops, went to the supermarket when it opened, and we cranked out just under a thousand dog treats in about six hours.  My own dogs have greatly enjoyed cleaning up the floor and I'm out to deliver them in a few minutes.  While this certainly isn't the most intellectual thing I've ever done, I have to admit, it is really, really fun.  AND you feel like you really accomplished something when it is finished.

We might have had a couple of these to keep the assembly line flowing smoothly.

*****

Tonight, post-St Patrick's Day dinner and the delivery, I'll be working on finalizing an application we are submitting to The Food Network!  While I realize this is a long shot, just working on it and dreaming about it is so, so good for what ails me.  We do have a team tag-line:  We are five-alarm badasses.  Five.  

*****

Okay, tomorrow we will do some recipe-ing.  There is salsa in our future.

Mayan Fudge Cupcakes, Living Lettuce, and Gratuitous Pictures of Myself

In the final, seemingly never-ending, installment from the New Mexican Food Fest last Saturday, we have Mayan Fudge Cupcakes with Cocoa-Cinnamon Butter Cream Frosting.  I have previously said that baking is not really my thing.  I'm going to amend that to say that baking is in fact at least *one* of my things, but more accurately dessert isn't really my thing because I don't really eat it so I'm not independently motivated to make it.  But.  Let me tell you.  People went ape-shit for these cupcakes and I am at least partially responsible for several children having a complete sugar freak-out which included one of the little darlings ((ahem)) running around with a chair on his head into several freshly painted walls.   Just precious.  Cough.  Cough.

ANYWAY, here's the back story...  My original plan was to do mini-cupcakes because these are really, really sweet and I thought for a big crowd that might be better: more treats, less waste.  After doing four dozen of the mini ones I decided I was going to lose my freaking mind if I kept that up AND would be at it for hours so I went to the regular size.  I also had grand plans of beautifully piping on the frosting and being all damn fancy about it, but well, reference the losing my mind part.

What you need for the cupcakes:

1 box Devil's Food cake mix ((you could also make this from scratch but let's not get crazy))
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
4 eggs

What you do:

*Right now* pull out one stick of butter to get it to room temperature for the frosting.  You will thank me later.

Preheat your oven to 350 and line your muffin tins or spray them with a cooking spray.

Add the first six ingredients (everything but the eggs) and using an electric mixer, beat at a low or medium speed for about 30 seconds or until everything is moistened.

PAY ATTENTION!  Add the eggs, one at a time, until the batter is well mixed.  No, I don't know why but it seems important.

Crank up the speed and beat for two minutes until the batter is thick.  And yes, it will be really, really thick.

Using a regular old spoon ((well, not an old one per se, just meaning a regular one)), scoop the batter into the lined muffin cups until they are 2/3's full.  This will be annoying because the batter will not release from the spoon and you will end up having to scrape each one in individually.  You will, in fact, be totally covered in chocolate by about .... now.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of the fattest one comes out clean.  Remove them to cool on a wire rack.

For the frosting:

1 stick of butter at room temp  ((together now:  Thanks, Jules.))
1/2 cup unsweetened dark chocolate cocoa powder
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Approximately 2 1/2 cups of powdered sugar

Start by creaming the butter in the mixer by beating it on medium speed for 3 minutes.

Add the cocoa and cinnamon and mix on low until they are combined.

Alternating, add a little bit of milk and a little bit of powdered sugar until you say screw this, and just dump it all in like I did.  At least I'm honest.

Once combined, beat on medium for 5 minutes until it is light and fluffy.  If it seems too thin, runny, watery, what have you, you can add more powdered sugar.

At this point, your cupcakes should be cool and you can be fancy and pipe them or smear a knife-full of frosting over them and call it good.

If you want to be DOUBLE FANCY, you can also crack sea salt over the top of them.  I know.  Fracking fancy.   Frackancy?  Yes.

This makes 24 regular cupcakes.  Recipe adapted from "Hello Cupcake."

I wondered if kids would like these with the heat in them.  They were so busy inhaling them that I'm not sure any of them even noticed.  It is a very mild little, tiny kick.  Don't be scared.

Nutritional Info:  I have a rule that if something has buttermilk or heavy cream in it, it is a lost cause so don't even worry about it.

*****

Whew.  Done.  Okay.  Let's talk about something different.  How cool is this?

Living Lettuce

Yes, this is a stock photo because I suck too much to take a picture of mine before chopping into it.  Recently, we have gotten what they call "Living Lettuce" from the co-op.  It comes with the root ball still attached and oh my God, it is so good and stays fresh forever.  No, you don't have to water it or plant it or any bullshit like that.  Mine stayed perfectly fresh for over three weeks.  THREE WEEKS!!  ((My level of dorkdom just went through the roof.  Gah.))

Anyway, I made this salad.  Isn't it pretty?

Damn.  That's a pretty good picture.  For me.

All it is is the butter lettuce with grilled chicken, cilantro, lime, salsa, and shredded cheese.

No, I'm not going to turn into those, "Here's What I Ate Today!!!" people.  Well, I might.  Sorry.  I'll try not to and you can be sure that at some point there will just be a picture of 17 cans of diet coke in that event.

*****

Okay, gratuitous pictures of myself time.  These are from the Mardi Gras party.  If anyone is good with photoshop and wants to fix the one with the open door, I will reward you with the meal of your choice upon receipt.

I bought this apron because it was the ugliest one in the store.  True story.

Me with the party host.  I love his cabinets.  And the lighting.  And my hair looks good there.  

*****

Anyway, I must get back to work on the fitness studying.  Everyone try to use "erector spinae" in a sentence at least once today.  Preferably completely out of context, or perhaps as a spell you are casting on someone.  It just sounds ominous.

Later!

Spanish Rice, Another Fattening Salad, and Gazpacho

Today we will finish up the dishes from Saturday's party and then we will talk some nonsense, because it is important for one ((meaning me)) to go with one's strengths ((meaning nonsense.))

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First, the Spanish rice.  I have tried countless of the "box" versions of Spanish or Mexican rice and always found them to be totally blah.  This, however, was miles apart from that and tastes like the stuff you get in a Mexican restaurant.  A real one.  Not some homogenized chain which relies on overly loud "festive" music to distract you and/or drive you to drinking twelve dollar margaritas.

Arroz ((your Spanish lesson for the day))

What you need:

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons chopped onion
1 1/2 cups uncooked long grain rice
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup chunky salsa ((I used Trader Joe's chunky medium salsa))

What you do:

This is easy...  Just heat the oil in a heavy pan and sautee the onion until it is translucent and soft, about 5 minutes.  Mix the rice into the skillet and allow the rice to start to brown, stirring frequently.  Stir in the chicken broth and bring it to a boil.  Reduce the heat, add the salsa, cover, and allow the rice to absorb the liquid.  This will take about 20 minutes.  Give it a stir every few minutes to be sure that it isn't sticking to the bottom.  Taste test liberally...  You can always top this with some shredded Mexican cheese, a squeeze of lime, some cilantro, or a dollop of sour cream.

I made a quadruple batch of this and it disappeared very quickly.

Nutritional Info:  260 calories and 6 grams of fat ((without add-ons like cheese, sour cream, etc)) for about a 1/3 cup serving.

This recipe is also slightly adapted from Allrecipes.com.

*****

How about a fattening salad?  I say, why not?

Fiesta Non-Salad Salad

What you need:

1 head of romaine lettuce, chopped
1 can of pinto beans, rinsed and drained
2 Roma tomatoes, diced
1 can of black olives, sliced
1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese ((I won't tell if you use 2 though))
4 tablespoons of cilantro, chopped
1/3 bottle or so of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing with bacon
1 cup of corn tortilla chips, smashed

What you do:

Throw all of the above in a bowl.  Shake the living hell out of it until it is thoroughly coated.  Hopefully you covered the bowl prior to the shaking.  

Nutritional Info:  Don't tell your trainer you had a salad.  They won't believe you.  Approximately 300 calories and 8 grams of fat for a 1/2 cup serving.

This recipe came out of my own noggin.  You can say you knew me when.

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Finally, the gazpacho.  Let me say this.  Gazpacho is not photogenic.  But it is really good and some people might have taken off on a wild hair and started dipping their chips in it.  Just go with it.

WTH is gazpacho, anyway?

Gazpacho is technically a tomato-based vegetable soup which is served cold.  I will confess that I had only maybe had it once before deciding to make it, but it turned out just lovely, if I do say so myself, and I do and I just did.

What you need:

1 cup of tomato juice
2 tablespoons wine vinegar
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 medium onion, finely chopped
*Some* black pepper
4 large tomatoes, peeled and chopped
1 large cucumber, finely chopped
2-3 tablespoons green chiles, chopped

What you do:

First, you think, "Huh.  That doesn't seem like it going to be very soup-like with only 1 cup of tomato juice."  Decide to cast that thought aside and have a little faith.

If the idea of peeling tomatoes leaves you cold, you can use a can of stewed tomatoes, if you must.

Basically, again, just throw everything in a large glass bowl, cover, and refrigerate for *at least* one hour, although overnight is better.  You can serve it in cups or bowls lined with lettuce leaves if you want to be fancy, and I'm sure you probably do.

Finally, think, "I guess it turns out to be a lot more than I thought it was going to.  Damn.  I shouldn't have doubted Jules."  Make mental note to send a nice gift of some sort.

This recipe came from a site called vivanewmexico.com and is filed under "caldos."  They claim this serves 10-12.  I'm not so sure about that.  I would say more like 8 with 3/4 cup servings.

Nutritional Info:  Sainthood:  Approximately 70 calories and maybe 1 gram of fat per 3/4 cup serving.  

*****

NONSENSE TIME!  I have a had a busy morning already with work-work and running some errands. This afternoon, I MUST get back on track with the studying for my certification exams.  What certifications you ask?  Oh, since you asked, I'm working on my certification to be a personal trainer and in fitness nutrition.  Once I have completed those, then it is on to the yoga/pilates certification.  The material is MUCH more dense than I had anticipated.  I really kind of thought the test might be how to count to 15 reps.  ((I'm joking, obviously.))  However, in the first ten pages when they started discussing mitochondrial functions in ATP/Creotine metabolism and I read the phrase "endoplasmic reticulum" for the first time in at least 15 years, my head about exploded.

Anyway, I'll be back later with the info on the Mayan Fudge Cupcakes with Cocoa-Cinnamon Buttercream Frosting because that ought to offset all my thinking about clean living.  Balance, friends, balance.  

Black-Eyed Pea Salsa, "Highly Very," and That Guy "Unknown" Says Some Good Stuff

This has been a highly, very good week.  ((There's a story that goes with the expression "highly very."  A good friend of ours about a thousand years ago or maybe closer to 2003 came back to our table at the restaurant and asked with the utmost sincerity, "Is the waitress highly in love me, very in love with me or highly, very in love with me?"  The phrase "highly very" has stuck.))  Regardless, this week has highly, very kicked ass.  Take it my word for it.

*****

It's going to be a big cooking weekend around here.  Tomorrow, I'm cooking for a housewarming party and I've been having probably more fun than should be allowed getting ready for it.  The menu consists of deviled crab dip and black-eyed pea salsa for the appetizers; the main course is jambalaya, cajun pulled pork, dirty rice, creole baked beans, and spicy corn muffins with honey butter; dessert is brandied brown sugar bread pudding.   The host had me design the menu around his ((totally not obvious from this description)) theme and loved all of the ideas, so I got to choose.  Win, win. 

Today I made the black-eyed pea salsa so that it can all marinate together overnight and be extra marinated-y.  ((No, I don't have a better ending to that sentence.))  Living in Arizona, we are at constant high salsa saturation levels and I thought an alternative to the regular tomato, pico de gallo, and tomatillo/verde salsa would be welcome.   

What you need:  ((to serve approximately 20))

2 lbs of black-eyed peas ((pre-soaked and rinsed))

6 medium tomatoes

1 chopped green pepper

1 cup chopped red onion

4 chopped green onions

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 cup Italian salad dressing

1/4 cup sour cream 

1/2 cup minced parsley

tortilla chips for serving

What to do:

Okay, news flash.  Black-eyed peas are not peas.  They are beans.  You would be surprised how many well-educated adults do not know this.  So you are going to find them by the bulk beans in the market.  ((You could theoretically buy the canned stuff, but where is the fun in that?))

Beans need to be soaked.  I used a quick-soak method because I lack patience, but I'm hurrying up and trying to work on that.  Basically, you rinse the beans thoroughly in a mesh colander.  Pick through them, practically one by one, to be sure there aren't any stones.  Add them to a large stock pot and add the amount of water that the bag prescribes, I used 8 cups.  Bring the pot to a rapid boil, let it go crazy for two minutes, then cover, and remove from the heat.  Let them sit for one hour.  Re-rinse them and you're good.

Dice up all of the vegetables.  Take note that if you are using a knife that has never been used before that it will be exceptionally sharp, make you realize how much your other knives suck, and might make you suffer from knife envy.   Add  your vegetables to a bowl with the drained and rinsed beans.  In a small bowl, combine the salad dressing and the sour cream and whisk it until you get a cramp.  Dump it on top of the bean/veg mixture, put a lid on it, and shake the living hell out of it until everything is well-coated.  Throw it in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours, but overnight is much better.  

Nutritional Info:  Not too shabby.  75 calories, 5 grams of fat for a 1/4 cup serving.  

Recipe adapted slightly from Taste of Home.

*****

I better get moving...  I have a massive amount of stuff going on in the next 3 days.  No complaints.  None at all.