Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Strawberry-Spinach Salad with Almonds, Allergens, and Shallots v. Onions

News flash that is interesting to probably exactly no one:  I am no longer allergic to nuts.  I have always gone through streaks where I have MASSIVE food allergies where if I even think about the current poison I break out in hives and develop something I can only relate to a goiter on the outside of my foot.  ((It's usually when I know I'm in trouble first, the "foot lump" comes out and I can barely walk.))  Usually the streaks last at least a couple of years, then I get detoxed from it, and I'm cured for several more years.  Weird, right?  Apparently in seven year cycles, every single one of the gzillion cells in the body is replaced.  There is a theory about how once a sufficient number of those cells have been detoxed the allergy retreats because those newer cells haven't been poisoned  and overloaded by it and can tolerate it again.  Or something like that.  I'm not really sure because at the time I was being told about this I was fixated on how much the person looked like Loralei from Gilmore Girls and how I really admired the writing on that show and the comedic pacing so I might have some of that wrong.  Anywho, close enough.  I'M CURED!  Let's eat some damn nuts then.


Let's do a spinach salad.

What you need to serve probably 6-8:

4 cups of fresh spinach
2 cups of fresh strawberries, sliced
1/2 cup of sliced almonds
An additional 3/4 cup of strawberries
1/4 cup chicken broth
2 tbsp canola oil
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp minced shallot  ((I'll explain, remain calm))
2 tsp dijon honey mustard
1/4 tsp each salt and pepper


Wash the spinach thoroughly and then tear it into bite-sized pieces.  ((Whistle the Popeye song if you must.))  Slice the strawberries and make them look pretty.  Throw both of them in a large bowl with the almonds.

For the dressing, puree together the additional 3/4 cup of strawberries and the chicken broth in your blender.  Yes.  I know that sounds awful.  Like really, really disgusting.  Just trust me.  It's good.  If you are doing this vegetarian style, use a little bit of water, just so they puree more easily.  Puree means to blend the living hell out of it.  AKA: get the chunks out.  ((I know, such a way with words, again.  Sorry.))

Then whisk the strawberry puree with the canola oil, apple cider vinegar, shallot, mustard, and salt and pepper.   ((Do I have to use canola?  Nope.  Can you use some other kind of vinegar?  Sure.  Use whatever you have, but apple cider is better.  WTF is a shallot?!))

That is a shallot.  Well, several.  Shallots.  Plural.  Shalli?  Never mind.
Shallots are kind of like onions except for they aren't.  Since I have already given you my totally intriguing scientific discussion of human allergy conditions, just suffice it to say for our purposes, shallots are fucked up onions that aren't onions.

Anyway, pour the dressing over the spinach-strawberries-almonds and shake it around.  Easy, right? Right.

Dressing recipe adapted from Weight Watchers magazine.  Yes, I read that magazine.  I don't judge what you read-- Like the fact that you read this blog!

Nutritional Info:  SAINTHOOD.  Approximately 150 calories and 6 grams of fat per 3/4 cup.


Must run...  I have more conspiring on my plans for world-domination to do as well as seeing how much it would cost me to get the entire Gilmore Girls series on DVD.  I don't even watch TV.  This seems like a wise purchase.

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