Thursday, March 1, 2012

Drollness, Rumminess, and a Case of the Hiccups

I just wrote a long, exceptionally detailed, and totally fracking droll post on how to host a dinner party, from the menu planning and preparation perspective.  I got so bored with myself, I just quit.  If anyone actually cares, and you probably don't, feel free to comment or email me and maybe I'll post it or just send it to you.  Gawd, I hate it when I bore myself.  That almost never happens.  I'm too weird for that.


On that note, it was an exceptionally long morning that didn't end until 3 pm, so I'm probably still about to be boring.  Nah, doubtful.  Let's spice things up.  Rum cake.  Cake plus booze.  If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.  Right?  


Back about a thousand years ago, I received an invitation to a party at some weird old broad's house which informed everyone what they were bringing and that I was bringing a rum cake.  ((I know this sounds like that old joke, but I'm dead serious.))   I, of course, didn't comply and instead developed a raging case of prostatitis to avoid attending.  She oddly, never figured out that my prostate was in fact, just fine.  Particularly given that, well, I don't have one.  

However, I have changed my ways.  Rum cake and I are now very good friends.  Maybe too good. 

Here's what you need:

RUM.  Lots.  Some for the cake too.
3 cups flour  
2 cups sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 cup butter
4 eggs
1 3.4 oz package of DRY instant vanilla pudding
1 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup rum

What to do:

Take a swig.  Check.

Add all of the ingredients to a bowl.  Mix at medium speed for two minutes and for Christ's sake do NOT overbeat it!  Pour into one large greased and floured bundt pan OR two smaller ((7 inch)) bundt pans.  Place in 350 degree preheated oven.  One large will take 50-60 minutes.  Two smaller will take 35-45 minutes.

Halfway through baking, put a piece of foil over the top to keep it from getting overly brown.  Feel free to test the rum again to make sure it hasn't somehow gone bad during the cooking process.  That would be a damn shame.

When time's up, place the cake still in the pan on a wire rack until it is thoroughly cooled.  This will take a while.  Once cooled, flip it upside down onto a plate.  Locate some long, skinny item to prick ((stop it)) the cake with.  Skewers or a meat thermometer will work just fine but any kind of a long pokey stick will suffice.  Yes, that's a technical term: Pokey Stick.  Prick ((can't help it)) the cake all over.  Prick.  Prick, prick, prick.  ((Wow, I'm immature.))

Now make the glaze.  You need 1/2 cup butter, 1/4 cup water, 3/4 cup sugar, and 1/2 cup dark rum.  Melt the butter in a saucepan, add the water and the sugar and let boil for 5 minutes.  Then add the rum.  No, you're right.  It totally didn't burn off.  At all.  Sorry.  Drizzle the glaze all over the cake, making sure it makes it into the holes and down the sides.  Let it soak up all the rummy goodness.  Again, this gets better as it sits, not that you will let that happen.

Nutritional Info:  Who cares?  At this point, you've had too much rum to worry about it.

This recipe was printed in the L.A. Times sometime in the 80's and came to me via the power of the Google in several locations.  


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