Rum and Coconut Banana Bread, TJ Terrors, and Mother's Day

I'm sure all of your children are complete angels, but Christ on a crutch, if you are one of the assholes who lets them run around Trader Joe's with those little miniature carts when the place is PACKED as they are screaming bloody murder and you are immersed in a ridiculously loud cell phone conversation, I will never speak to you again.  The produce section is not the bumper car area.  GAH.  I had to get that off my chest.  ((Yes, I know the obvious answer is that I'm the idiot who chose to go there on Saturday afternoon, but some things can't be helped.  Not. My Fault.))

*****

An incident such as that requires baking therapy.  Wait.  Strike that.  More boozy baking therapy.  Let's do rum and coconut banana bread.  This recipe came from My Baking Addiction and just seemed like a really good idea.

Not the most photogenic stuff, but ohmygod, you should smell it...

What you need for one loaf:


2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup light brown sugar, slightly packed
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 tablespoons dark rum  ((I should admit right here that the pourer fell out of the bottle as I was measuring over the mixing bowl and there might be more.  Oopsiedoodle.))
2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas (about 4-5 bananas)
1 cup sweetened shredded coconut

What to do:

Preheat the oven to 350 and butter and flour a loaf pan.  ((WTF does butter and flour mean?  Here's how I do it.  Take a stick of butter and hold it in a paper towel.  Rub it all over every surface of the pan.  It doesn't have to be shellacked, but get a good layer on there.  Then take a little scoop of flour and put it in the pan.  Shake that bastard around so the flour coats the bottom and the sides.  Then turn it upside down over the sink and tap out the excess.))

Using your mixer, combine the butter and the brown sugar until it is light and fluffy.  This will take about two minutes.  Add the eggs, vanilla, rum and bananas and combine well.

((At this point, you are going to think this crap looks terrible.  It has a weird consistency prior to adding the dry stuff.  It's fine.  Don't worry about it.))

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon.  Using a rubber spatula, add the flour concoction to the mixing bowl with the banana stuff in it.  It will take some muscle to get this mixed together because you are doing it by hand, not with the mixer at this point.  Pay attention.  Be sure you are scraping the hell out of the bottom and the sides.  Finally, fold in the shredded coconut.

Pour it into your loaf pan and bake for 60-65 minutes or until a toothpick or cake tester comes out clean.  Cool it on a rack in the pan.  It will tip out easily once it is cool.  If you live in the desert, I highly recommend storing it in a baggie in the refrigerator.  If you don't, well, you are on your own.  The fridge couldn't hurt though.

Nutritional Info:  Booze calories don't count.  Oh wait, that's not right.  If you cut this into twelve pieces, I would call it about 250 per slice.  Yikes.

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Not sure if you knew, but Mother's Day is tomorrow.  Or maybe today depending on when you read this.  Or maybe it was six months ago if you are just catching up.  Hi person in the future!  I've taken on quite an undertaking for dinner tomorrow.  Let's just say I've already spent two hours on it today between making marinades, chopping veggies, making pastry creme, and making a blackberry reduction ((which I'm thinking would be AMAZING on pancakes.  Or crepes.  YES, FUCKING CREPES.  Great, now I have to make crepes tomorrow in addition to everything else.  I hate it when I have excellent ideas.))

Happy Mother's Day!